It’s time for some workplace rules to go—especially the unwritten ones.

That’s according to Hanna Hasl-Kelchner, founder and CEO of consulting firm Business M.O. and author of Seeking Fairness at Work: Cracking the New Code of Greater Employee Engagement, Retention and Satisfaction. All too often, she said, they can create stress for employees.

Hasl-Kelchner shared with HR Brew insights from her book.

This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

What will HR pros learn from your book?

Anyone that’s experienced the workplace realizes you start, you’ve got great expectations in terms of opportunity…and you get in there, and then you start to discover things they didn’t tell you about in the interview, and about how things really work. And, those are what I call the unwritten rules of the workplace, and we kind of accept them, and we obey and conform, as a cost of our paycheck…but they take a toll, and they create a tremendous amount of stress.

There are all these workplace surveys [about], “Why do people change jobs?” And the majority of the time, it’s not about the pay—it’s about the manager. They leave the manager more than they leave the organization. And, so the reason is it’s because of the relationship they have, or really don’t have, with the manager, and that’s what these unwritten rules really erode.

What are examples of those unwritten rules?

Approachability. Some people are just never available…Ignoring employees, not demonstrating any kind of empathy, leaves [leaders] unapproachable, and then employees may be afraid to approach them, because there just doesn’t seem to be a good time. “Oh, he’s in a bad mood. Oh, he’s not here. She’s not here. I have to move on”...Managers and leaders at all levels of the organization really need to be available or let their employees know when they can be available to answer questions in order to keep work moving.

Lack of recognition is another one. Too often people take things for granted, and they’re quick to point out, “Well, you didn’t do this. You didn’t do that.” Yeah, but what about the things that went right? I think sometimes people need to have that feedback to have the recognition that: “Yeah, I appreciate what you did do. We got it done on time. Maybe we could have done a little bit better here. Let’s focus on that the next time.” Focus on also the positive things…That’s one thing Gen Z has a real issue with because some managers take it for granted.

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