Research conducted among hybrid teams shows that one-third of U.S. hybrid workers would like more one-on-one time with their managers to get feedback on their performance.

This is all very well when feedback is positive; however, critical feedback is something that most of us would rather avoid giving. After all, it’s in our nature to be liked as humans. Receiving feedback is also often difficult. We feel threatened or personally attacked and often immediately go on the defensive. But for employers to maintain a productive team environment, it is essential that managers and other leaders are able to give and receive feedback effectively.

Giving feedback to develop others is the nurturing, caring thing to do. Feedback helps team members learn more about themselves and how their behavior affects others. It can prompt different behavior or new actions that they would otherwise not consider, as well as give them the opportunity to learn and improve performance.

That is why as HR/L&D professionals, it’s incumbent upon us to focus on the growth opportunities that can come from well-handled performance conversations. In my experience, instead of avoiding negative feedback, there are a few simple ways to turn those tricky discussions into development opportunities that build awareness and positively impact company culture.

1. Signpost a difficult conversation

No one wants to feel ambushed. Be honest and signpost a difficult conversation in advance — for example, “I’d like to talk to you about what happened in that meeting” — so the other person knows exactly what you’re going to discuss with them before they enter the room. This also gives them time to think, rather than be put on the spot.

Also, ask the employee how they prefer to receive feedback; some people respond well to a very direct approach setting out the key points, while others prefer a lighter touch. Developing a growth mindset means being open to learning what works and what doesn’t work with certain individuals and acting on it.

2. Get on the same page

Make sure you structure difficult performance conversations, which can help all parties stay focused. Invite the other person to tell their side of the story and really listen hard. Perception or unconscious bias can easily distort events and cloud our judgment, which can make difficult conversations even harder.

At Insights, we use the D4 feedback model to ensure everyone is on the same page. Start with the data; this is all about establishing facts.

Then, move on to depth of feeling: How did the employee feel about what happened? Understand the dramatic interpretation: What meaning do you give the situation? And finally, do: What was said or done? What was the outcome?

3. Stay curious

Bear in mind that the vast majority of people try to do a good job; employees do not generally come into work trying to cause friction or underperform. Go into difficult conversations with an open mind, knowing that the intention was probably quite different from the eventual outcome.

Another way of putting this? Take the most respectful interpretation. This approach also sets a powerful leadership example for others to follow and can positively influence company culture.

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